The rat in the wall

When thinking of death and I can’t sleep
I hear it gnaw at the wall
Turning it all to dust in nibbles
Intent only to gnaw and gnaw, keep warm
And stay away from the neighborhood cat.

My common wall neighbor says what’s the use,
You can call a man to crawl around
And plant poison,
Who in a few days returns
To retrieve the bodies, but
It always comes back.
The bodies are just costumes.
The raw banality remains
To gnaw in slow motion
Toward the head I dream with.

Morning comes it’s gone,
The sound of it
Drowned out by other dreams
News-weather-sports-film-at-11,
Till night again hosts our rendezvous
Each side of the wall,
The clock watching like a hawk,
Blinking only once a minute
Till the moment we two meet,
The wall chewed through, the feast begun.

If I ever go back

If I ever go back
It will be in the manner of elephants who,
Teeth worn and starving,
Having done all to live and reproduce,
Heave a sigh in the gloom and
Deposit themselves
On the bank
Of where it all began.

Until then, do not expect me back.
I am trying to move
So as to fall forward
When I fall
And in so doing
Be both fool and sage,
Trial and error haunting me
At every stage,
But lengthening the list
Of possibilities
For its own sake.

Take what you can
From this junk drawer of a life
And dispose of the rest
Of my foolishness
With maybe a wry pause
But don’t be afraid
Of offending me
Or my memory
If my freedom
Fails to set you free.

If I ever go back
I hope I do not find you there.